He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
