So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
