YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
