nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
