At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
