why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
