he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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