Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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