In the future we'll all be gay
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
