this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
