3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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