just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
