The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
