You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
