I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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