So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
