come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
