Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
