i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
