god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize