Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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