Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm passing your future prison.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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