1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
