Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
