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  im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate

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• Yet you have the motor skills too send a perfect text.

  Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 2, 10 at 2:39pm

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  • It's been proven, it takes less skill to masturbate than text. http://whatIdesiredtosay.wordpress.com

    Submitted by Le_Todd on Sep 2, 10 at 4:58pm

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  • How do you know they didn't spend 10 minutes writing that text?

    Submitted by skootles on Sep 2, 10 at 5:43pm

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    • No, masturbating takes only two things: an upward and a downward hand motion. Texting takes focus, thinking, typing, and multitasking.

      Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 2, 10 at 7:34pm

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  • I was thinking the exact same thing.

    Submitted by freckleface on Sep 2, 10 at 9:33pm

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• if you were that drunk you wouldn't be able to text. I call bullshit.

  Submitted by enoxxx on Sep 2, 10 at 4:47pm

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• get the peanut butter and let the dog in....

  Submitted by jasboo on Sep 2, 10 at 2:38pm

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• @WTF_ever... You win a one way trip to a desert with no cell phone towers, with Firsty.

  Submitted by nattielite on Sep 2, 10 at 3:27pm

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• I call Pelosi (bullshit) too.

  Submitted by dudewalker on Sep 2, 10 at 5:43pm

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• But your texting skills are still pretty sharp! Go you!

  Submitted by Valkyrie on Sep 2, 10 at 3:03pm

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• Totally cant be real.

  Submitted by austinonymouss on Sep 3, 10 at 1:19am

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• "I'm getting really sick of guys named Todd."\n ~Carlin

  Submitted by o_0 on Sep 2, 10 at 10:27pm

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• Yet u can text? Sure.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 2, 10 at 6:08pm

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• Ha I hate firsty toi

  Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 10 at 9:53am

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• Dangit. They should have said "I can't even masturbate. THAT DRUNK.

  Submitted by dontsayTHATHIGH on Sep 2, 10 at 7:03pm

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• FAKE!!!

  Submitted by urallstupid on Sep 2, 10 at 5:10pm

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• Auto-correct doesn't write the whole fucking text, you twat.

  Submitted by blackhalfrican on Sep 3, 10 at 1:43am

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• Ever heard of autocorrect? Chump

  Submitted by trke0302 on Sep 2, 10 at 2:52pm

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• What do you win if your First?

  Submitted by WTF_ever on Sep 2, 10 at 2:36pm

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• Not to mention the iq and motor skills required to spell masturbation

  Submitted by theFungusAmongUs on Aug 25, 12 at 2:48pm

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