He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
