I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
