remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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