I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
