Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
