Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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