No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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