Can i not drive my cunt home
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
