Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
