My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
