in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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