yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
