Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
