in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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