4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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