I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
