Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
