Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
