so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
