I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
