forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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