My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
