Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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