i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
