My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
