dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize