This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
