I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
