I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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