What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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