I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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