i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
operation have a gay friend backfired
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
