Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You've changed since you got that strap on
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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