"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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