Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
