After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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