Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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