Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
