I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
