The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We're using joints as your birthday candles
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
