If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
