i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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