dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
