Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
