Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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