Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
