I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
