this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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