he wants to bone in the snuggie
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
