We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize