Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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