I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
